TICKLES.TV is an online production of witty, satirical, comedic social
commentary web clips on Black and pop culture. The goal is to broaden
content featuring urban talent to be more diverse, wittier and
multi-layered than what's out now.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up
to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
To mark the publication of The Truth, with Jokes, we asked author and talk show host Al Franken to list the Capitol's worst haircuts. Nonconformist thinker that he is, Franken instead elected to reveal the "real" heights of some U.S. presidents.
U.S. Presidents, by Height (according to Al Franken):
1. Bill Clinton: 6'6", I bet.
2. George H. W. Bush: He's definitely a head taller than his son, who I think is about 5'8". So I'd put him at around 6'1½".
3. Gerald Ford: All-American center for University of Michigan. Of course, in those days, people were shorter. 6'½".
4. John F. Kennedy: Six feet, 6'2" with hair.
5. Ronald Reagan: 5'9". Thought he was taller, didn't you? Nope. His media people were fabulous. It was all done with camera angles.
6. George W. Bush: 5'8". But he's in great shape.
Actual heights (according to our research): Clinton: 6'1½"; G.H.W. Bush, 6'2"; Ford, 6'; Kennedy, 6'½"; Reagan, 6'1"; G.W. Bush, 5'11"