Don't screw with us, TMZ: if you say Jay-Z and Beyoncé are interested in buying the most bonkers new house in Beverly Hills, they better be parking their Bugattis in the car showroom and telling Blue Ivy she can only have one handful of the Sour Patch Kids from the candy room within four weeks, tops. The couple reportedly visited the brand new and completely absurd house—which is asking $85 million—twice over the summer while they were shacking up in a different flashy spec house in Holmby Hills.
The very bonkers mansion of Jay-Z and Beyoncé's dreams hit the market quietly in August and then loudly in September; its listing promises "an overwhelming sensory experience unlike any you've felt before" and it delivers with that car showroom and candy room, a motorcycle under a giant portrait of James Dean, an extensive collection of arty weapons (giant grenade, machine gun, pistols, etc.), Yves Saint Laurent fire extinguishers, and a couple of women in bikinis who seem like they might be annoying to get rid of. All that, plus eight bedrooms, 15 bathrooms, an underground garage for 16 cars, closets the size of your apartment, and a 24-seat theater. Asking price once again is $85 million.